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So, Whose Responsibility Is It?

You probably already know that NFL football is often called "America's Game." I suppose calling it America's Game is fair enough since it was invented in this country and millions of Americans-mostly guys-watch football every week during the season. You may not know that there is another game in play every single day all across the country, and is played by multi-millions of participants. It's called "The Blame Game."

All political rhetoric, most law court activity, a lot of management/worker disagreement, and way too many husband and wife arguments involve playing the Blame Game.

To play The Blame Game all you have to do is abide by the game's only two rules. Rule number one, never take responsibility for anything you do or say related to a problematic issue if you can shift blame to someone else. Rule number two, if the issue eventually turns out positively in some way, disregard rule number one. But there are several difficulties with the Blame Game.

First of all, it isn't that much fun. Usually players end up being pretty cranky with each other, sometimes for hours or even days.

Secondly, the game brings to screeching halt any progress in working through whatever issue we might be puzzling about. It's sort of like slamming on the brakes of your car. You'll come to an abrupt halt, and as long as the brakes are on, your car is not going anywhere you want to go. As long as The Blame Game is being played, you can't make movement on the issue being considered. None at all.

Third, if the total responsibility for the issue being problematic belongs to someone else then you can't do anything to improve the situation. How can you remedy a situation that is totally some other person's doing? You probably can't.

The good news is that most of the issues people face on a day to day basis are not the responsibility of only one person, and if people can recognize the Blame Game when it's happening they can get back on track and then positive outcomes become possible. What is required next is for people to take a close look at what they themselves have contributed to the situation, but that isn't necessarily easy. It's always easy for me to notice what other people do and say and to know how their actions affect me, but it's much harder for me to see how my behaviors influence others. Yet to move forward, I have to take responsibility for my own words, actions, and choices in every sense. Only then can I contribute toward positive results; and that holds true whether the situation we're puzzling about is a relationship issue with our boss, our spouse, our children, our lover, the neighbor, or anyone else.

The above also holds true for the financial health of individuals or families. If we would like to find ourselves on an increasingly sound financial footing in the future, we need to take responsibility for choices we make about managing the money we earn now. Unless you've already done the work, part of taking responsibility for your financial health will involve learning about such things as making good purchasing decisions, living within your means, increasing savings, decreasing debt, investment choices, putting together a workable family (or individual) financial plan.

To answer the title question, at least with respect to managing money, each person needs to genuinely accept responsibility for their own financially related behavior and financial well being. It is unreasonable to expect the government or the company you work for to totally take care of you from now until your untimely demise in the far distant future. Social Security and company pensions are very good as safety nets, but complete reliance on them may not be enough to support you in the life style to which you are becoming accustomed. Those financial supports will be very helpful, but may not lead you where you would like to go in the long run.

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